embarassing moments and mustaches (oh and cherri)

check out my movember stache! kylie hates it, which is fun, but i love it. although with my new haircut i look like a cop.

up until a few days ago i had a soul patch as well. for a more refined look.

we had a bunch of plumbing issues pop up at our place all at the same time, so i have been busy working in tight spaces. everything is back to working order, except the tub faucet still bleeds a lot of pressure from the shower. i never did figure out what happened with our dishwasher, but just a thorough inspection seems to have taught it a lesson.
kylie's mom cherri came out to visit last week. we warned her she wasnt going to see the sun for a week, but it actually came out a few times. it was fun having her around. together kylie and cherri prepped our office to be transformed into a jungle themed bedroom.

finally a quick and disgusting true story that happened to me today. if you are squeamish stop reading now... i deliberately left this until the end.

last night all the infectious people i have been seeing at work finally caught up with me and i went to bed with stomach cramps. i assumed the cramps were related to me eating half a pan of smore brownies that kylie made, but the sudden need to run for the bathroom to empty my intestines in both directions made me realize that there was something more going on.

i slept intermittently until things calmed at 4:00 and woke up at 7:00am feeling a bit better. i was scheduled to assist in the OR and if i phoned in sick they would have to cancel the operations. i talked to the surgeon and he encouraged me to come on out and give it a try. eating a banana and an orange and feeling ok i decided i could cruise by the er and pick up some strong antinauseants and the surgeries could go on!

what i did not recon with was the masks. thick surgical masks with full eye shields off the top, and b/c these were total joint cases, the addition of a bizarre hood that looks like a diaphonous version of a snowmobiling suit.
put all that together and add on a double wraparound surgical smock that extends to mid shin and you have a pretty stuffy nausea inducing environment. i should have bailed right there.

instead i managed to hold it together for the first 30 min of the surgery and it was not until the bone saw began splattering little clots of pulped femur across the surgical field that my mouth suddenly flooded with saliva. the OR staff where all aware of my precarious position and thus it was no surprise when i gave my apologies and bolted from the room. unfortunately the garbage can i had counted on just outside room 4 had inexplicably been removed. i ran down the hall and around the corner to the change room but didnt make it. i vomited a nice thick mixture of banana, cliff bar and coffee but it didnt hit the ground. i kept running, realizing that it was being held in check by my layers of personal surgical draping. having that pleasant mixture in my mask did nothing to alleviate my nausea and, as often happens, the balance of my morning intake came up in my stomach's second attempt.

this time the volume of vomitus exceeded that available in my mask hood combo and, as my mask swelled to contain it against my mouth and nose it shot out to fill the space between the plastic shield and my eyes. still being several steps from the bathroom i had fleeting visions of drowning in my own vomit as i reached the garbage can and tore my mask off just as my vision was completely obscured. i took a big breath and glanced sideways to see a lucky recovery nurse who was just getting changed and thus was able to bear witness to this disturbing spectacle.

the OR was able to find someone else to rush in from home and take my place, so the nice lady got to have her new knee and in a noncontaminated fashion. i should have been firm and said i couldnt work and they would have found an assist and delayed the case a bit, but i guess i had to learn that lesson the hard way. i am feeling a bit better now, and have spent the whole day lying around reading and sleeping (thanks for "the lives of animals" steve, another book that makes my mind dance).

anyways, now i am left with a bit of embarassment, which should wear off as i dont work in the OR again for a few weeks, as well as the memory of what it feels like to drown in your own puke. lovely.


Kevan said...

That is a vomit story straight from the movies. It played in slow-mo in my head.

Shelley said...

That definitely goes into my books as one of the top vomit stories!

Lowell & Julie said...

GROSS! And the vomit story was disgusting too. :)

Would that be perhaps the worst way to die? Drowning in your own vomit? Yuck.

Lovin Kylie's dark locks!

marcandorkylie said...

glad you guys enjoyed the story (or glad you were disgusted by it... is that the same thing?)

thanks kevan, if it played in slo mo then i achieved exactly the effect i was going for in the writing.