precious bodily fluids

"have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water? vodka... that's what they drink isn't it? never water? and not without good reason."

dr. strangelove (or - how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb) is my new favourite movie. my friend chris lent it to me quite a while ago b/c he knew how much i liked kubrick as a director. kylie and i put it on, and initially found it funny but quite slow (it was filmed in 1964 - well before "Speed" changed movies and attention spans forever). i think we only managed to watch 30 min before we started falling asleep.

a few weeks ago i put it back in to watch it again while kylie was otherwise occupied. i dont know what changed, but this time i was riveted. the dialogue is so dry and so hilarious. peter sellers is incredible in 3 roles and delivers a subtle comedic performance (at least mandrake and the president are subtle, the eponynymous dr. is anything but) that just isnt seen these days. i have since watched the movie 3 times and gone through all the special features. i love it!

my favourite character by far is general ripper. i was working an overnight shift a few days ago and my brain was in the state common to those who are still awake and trying to function normally at 4:30 in the morning. i had a friendly but fairly intrusive diabetic patient pestering me to give him a prescription for insulin or another sugar lowering medication and i was explaining to him that his problem was dehydration or lack of water. suddenly my voice turned low and gravelly and i started to slur my words like i was holding a cigar in my mouth:

"water, mandrake. water is the source of all life. seven tenths of the earth's surface is water. why, do you realize that 70 percent of YOU is water? as human beings, you and i need fresh pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids."

the patient did not catch the reference, so i apologized and explained i was quoting dr. strangelove. i didnt realize i had the scene memorized, but it is my favourite and it kept spilling out of me. i then turned to the nurses and intoned once again in a serious gravelly tone:

"mandrake, have you never wondered why i drink only distilled water (or rainwater) and only pure grain alcohol? have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation? fluoridation of water?"

unfortunately my sleep deprived attempt at humour missed the mark with the nurses as well. none of them had seen the movie either. its funny to me though. i can make myself laugh just thinking about those lines delivered so seriously and mandrake's panicky disbelieving responses.

great movie... although you probably wont like it unless you are sleep deprived or a nuclear policy afficianado. extremely slow paced but funny in a way no movie is funny these days.